so i've been thinking a lot lately. not really about anything. just about things that have happened in the past and whats going to happen in the future. Is it really all connected? what if i would have done one little thing differently, would i be any different today?

AND, why has texting taken over the world? I really wonder how people talked before cell phones were around.. when we actually had to have face to face conversations.
That bothers me.

Lonestar

tonight was good. i either made a really bad decision, or a really good one. i guess i'll find out tomorrow. Lonestar music fest was great, and i'm offically in love with Stoney LaRue, not that i wasn't before, but he was great tonight.

I let myself do something that i wouldn't usually do.. and i hope it doesn't backfire. But if it does, at least i'll know that i gave it more than one shot, and that it offically won't work.

It feels nice to talk to someone again. I missed it, even if its nothing, just the way it is, makes nothing seem like everything. I swallowed some pride and took the first move. I don't know why i did it. I just don't want to look back at my life and think what if..

I think this all made more sense in my head.
goodnight.

Well, today was pretty good.

I need some new faces.
Thats the problem with small towns though, there are no new faces.

too much to think

So this is going to be a total girl blog, btw.

I'm not comfortable with being emotional around most people. I won't let myself cry or get upset in front of people, i don't like to talk about my feelings. I'm afraid of getting hurt, letting people in, and not seeming as tough as i'd like to. I am a strong person, and i can take a lot of shit before i break. And no i am not broken because of this, merely cracked for the time being.

Recently i was broken up with by a serious boyfriend. Yes i saw it coming, since we had been fighting a lot lately. Its been two days and i guess i'm feeling alright. I miss having someone to talk to though. yes of course i have my friends and family and other various people to talk to, but theres always something different about having a serious boyfriend or girlfriend to talk about things with. During the day i'm okay, i have people to talk to, classes, work to do, things to keep my mind busy. But its once i'm home, read everything on every possible website that interests me, my phone has stopped ringing for the night, that i actually let myself start to think. Is he feeling the same way right now? Or is he totally fine and happier than before? What did i do wrong? How can he tell me that he'll always love me, but he doesn't want to be with me? And even though he says hes doing this because he doesn't want to hurt me, does he know that hes hurting me more, by doing this, than he ever could?

Hes not the first boy who's told me he loves me, hes in love with me, or wants to spend the rest of our lives together. but he is the first one that i let myself believe. We made plans about what we wanted out of life. It all seemed so possible to me.

I don't exactly miss him, I miss having something to hold on to. I miss being totally comfortable with someone.

And yes i know there are always going to be more guys out there and i'll fall in love all over again and think its so much better than he was. But right now, it hurts, a lot.

okaaaaaay.... thats exactly what fox news does... it keeps us infromed.

This is from the tea party that happened while i was in D.C. this weekend. We talked to some of the tea baggers (funny right?) about what their views were on certain subjects. Mostly about sex education in public schools since that was the whole reason we were there in the first place. I asked one man why he thought abortion should be illegal, his response "so those girls will have to suffer" What the hell right? Definitely the most shocking answer I got that day. Other people answered the same question with that they thought it should be illegal, but when asked what the punishment would be for committing such a "crime" they thought there shouldn't be one, since those girls had suffered enough. A crime with no punishment? Sounds a lot like things that already legal to me..

Can't sleep

I believe that happiness is something we create. Things aren't always as bad as they sound, the things we complain about aren't actually that bad. Attitude has so much to do with everything and its amazing how much being positive can help out a bad situation. Its good to let some things go, I can't hold on to the same things for the rest of my life. I'll change, people around me will change, life, love, location, money, health..its all going to change. up and down, good and bad, for better and for worse.

"you just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N"

Well hello. :)

My name is Alex, I live out in a small town in West Texas. I'm 18 years old and currently a senior in high school.


This is my first offical blog entry ever, so it may take a while before I get the details figured out.
This past weekend I went to Washington D.C. along with 120 other young people from around the world to attend a conference about advocating for comprehensive sexual education in schools vs abstience only sex ed. That was where I got interested in starting a blog, so here i am. If you have any ideas on subjects related to sex ed, politics and such I'd love to hear them.